So, it's been 2+ weeks since my last post.  Waiting on pins and needles I am sure you all have been ( insert Yoda voice)  So I still eat too many starchy foods, followed by a little too much red wine to help with the cholesterol...and yes maybe I cuss like a sailor.  A reformed sailor.  I have had 1 epiphony though, that which came as a result of watching a good man battle.  Battle leukemia.   Battle fear, faith, unfaith, unrecoited desires, etc.  It has been my honor to be present and a part of his life during this time.  It has not been totally self less.  The epihany I referred to came as a result of this whole situation.  I became aware of how precious life is and despite the scripture telling me that tomorrow brings woes of its own... it took watching a precious friend walk this out to really appreciate the truth.  The truth that time is more precious than money, more valuable than things and not guaranteed in the bill of rights.  So, accordingly we emptied out our 401k for XMAS.  Just kidding.  But I have tried to be present for my family.  Been diligent about trying not to worry about tomorrow until tomorrow.  All in all...it has helped me to realize that this is only the beginning of the road.  Oh, did I mention the conference...the one on unbelief, self loathing, sense of being, etc.  That went well.  Sort of .  As well as any process that requires brutal self evaluation and honesty can go.  But in the end there was revelation about who I really was at my core.  Who God created me to be.  Repenting, wailing and giving thanks for the gift that God had given me.